The Big Five

June 22, 2009 posted by Julie Zeilinger and Shirley Kailas

In honor of Father’s Day, WomenGirlsLadies, a panel of intergenerational feminists including Courtney Martin, Deborah Siegel, Kristal Brent Zook and Gloria Feldt took on the topic of men, masculinity and fatherhood as it relates to the personal and political.

We, the faithful (and let’s face it, a bit star struck) interns of the NCRW got the chance to hear these powerhouse WomenGirlsLadies sound off on questions like:

How were your ideas about men and masculinity formed while growing up?
How did men shape your thinking about your own identity as a woman?
What is the role for men in the contemporary and future feminist movement?

The women shared personal stories of how their fathers shaped their lives and conceptions of masculinity. From supportive fathers, feminist fathers, and even absent fathers, each offered their sometimes frustrating, often touching, stories of what fatherhood meant to them and the difficult barriers of masculinity their fathers faced (and we face as a culture). From the structural—long hours at work and career pressure—to the emotional—standards of masculinity that prevent men from connecting to their daughters in a meaningful way—their stories illuminated the obstacles fathers face in successful equal parenting.

Though we couldn’t help but hear the many challenges raised by these perspectives, there was a clear glimmer of hope for the future. Definitions of masculinity are loosening in what some might characterize as progress. With the current economic crisis, there is also a definite opportunity for positive change. Deborah Siegel raised an excellent example of the “upside of the downturn.” Because her partner was laid off due to the economic crisis, he has a deeper connection to his future fatherhood as he is move involved in the day-to-day of Deborah’s pregnancy. Deborah quotes her partner:

“Being home, I feel more a part of a much bigger timeline, connected with the kids we’re having. I’ve gotten used to a life in which everything is attached to real values—you, me, these unborn babies, staying healthy, providing a life that’s not just an income but an organic whole.”

Considering these changing standards and opportunities, the question was then tossed to the audience: how can we motivate men to not only involve themselves in this dialogue, but also see women’s liberation as inseparable from men’s liberation?

One male audience member suggested that it is a matter of language. That by labeling some of these issues (ex. family leave) as “women’s issues” men are intrinsically left out of the dialogue.  All panelists agreed: the future of feminism lies in men stepping up and women learning to step back and trust the men in their lives to find their own style of feminist living.

In the spirit of Father’s Day, with lots of Dad-appreciation in the air, this seemed to be the perfect solution. Check out photos from the event here.

*Julie Zeilinger and Shirley E. Kailas are summer interns with the National Council for Research on Women. Shirley is going into her senior year at Kenyon and is majoring in sociology and gender studies. Julie is a high school student in Pepper Pike, Ohio and creator of a feminist blog for teenage girls- the FBomb